An understanding of will power makes for more effective coaching. Will power seems to work sometimes, but not others. When it works, we’re using will power as a precision tool, like a scalpel. When it doesn’t work, we’re using it like a bludgeon. Used properly, will power supports us as human beings, not human doings, and enables us to live from the inside-out, instead of the outside-in.
Will power is not about not eating the next potato chip or not smoking the next cigarette or not buying the latest new toy. Will power is inadequate when used to ‘not’ do things, especially habitual things we really want to do. Will power doesn’t work well as a ‘not’ tool. That’s because will power requires a great deal of energy and is simply not sustainable, especially in situations where you’re trying to resist something you strongly identify with, like a desire for chips and chocolate, or a new Iphone (because, after all, you’ve been working hard and you deserve a small reward like some chips or a piece of chocolate).
But, when used to support something you do identify with, decided to commit to and want to do, such as pausing in your daily busyness to connect with your inner power, hopes, dreams and aspirations, it can be very effective. Will power can be harnessed to an affirmative goal and desire, working like an alarm clock, to remind you about what’s really important and what’s not; to remind you to go within first, before rushing up to the screen, or to take a deep breath and pause when you’re frustrated, angry, disappointed or in pain.
Used this way, will power is a useful combination alarm and response mechanism. When triggered by thoughts, feelings and behaviors (our own and other people’s) will power literally says, “Whoa! Easy does it! Pause. Think. Reflect. Where’re you going is such a hurry? Is that what you really want to think, feel and do? Is that really going to be what’s best for you and all concerned?”
Will power can be like a trigger that starts the process of re-connecting with our highest and best, enabling us to make a contribution to a world that works, not only for ourselves, but for everyone and everything in it. Used this way, will power is a sharp scalpel that has a place and a purpose, not a blunt instrument to bludgeon ourselves into submission and not eat those chips or that piece of chocolate.
Will power is a process tool that reminds us who and what we really are - spiritual beings having an earthly experience, not as a results or product tool designed to keep us thin, on the straight and narrow and in compliance with the ego’s rules. Will power’s value increases exponentially the more we use it correctly, as a scalpel, just as its value decreases exponentially the more we use it incorrectly as a guilt inducing bludgeon. Try using it as a scalpel and see how well it cuts the BS, fear, anger and trauma from your life.
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